Poor Little Piggy

I'm dog and house sitting this week for Laura this week--Here's Pepper--So cute!!
Anywho, there are some weights in the foreground (I don't know if you can see them, but I took the pic well before the event happened). Yeah, I was walking through the living room in the dark, tripped over the weights and broke my baby toe.

I actually heard it snap (ICK!!) and you can tilt it 90 degrees sideways. Fortunately for me, when I was rolling on the floor cursing Pepper was licking my face trying to make me feel better. I think that Laura's neighbors now think that I have tourettes (MOTHER DICK THAT HURT!!!)

Time to go through the medicine cabinets for some pain killers...stupid weights!!

Thrid Tri's a Charm

Glenview Triathlon!!

Can you say "Kickin' ass and takin' names"? This tri went really well! I came in 12th in my age group!! And Elaine came in 8th!! She was amazing! I don't know how she does the run so fast...I wanna be her when I grow up!

I rocked the swim for a change. Turns out, I'm a master at pushing off the walls. It really helped me out--I actually passed 5 people! I learned that trick from Pete...he's a genius! I really used it to my advantage and finished in 6:30. My bike was pretty good and my run was about average--not much to complain about.

When I was running to transition, I heard "BETHIE!!!" and realized that Tina and Pete were there watching the race! I'm so pumped that they came out to watch. It really meant a lot to me to have 'fans'! Thank you, guys sooo much for coming--You're the best!! (And T, your little one legged cheer thing still makes me smile!)

I'm pretty pleased with my performance. I'd definitely do this little race again--it was such a fun time! Next year, I have to talk Tina and Pete into doing it with me!

But I don't wanna drink the Kool-Aid!

It's the middle of the afternoon, I'm home and of course watching the Cubs/Marlins game. When three men wearing matching light blue short sleeved dress shirts, maroon ties and backpacks come to my door and ring my doorbell. (In my defence, the front doorbell is actually broken, so it doesn't actually ring--oppsie!) I'm not a fan of answering the door when I don't know the person on the other side (Stranger Danger!). They proceed to keep ringing the bell.

I know they can see and possibly hear that my TV is on, but I not feeling motivated to answer the door (It's the top of the 5th and Dempster loaded the bases---I HAD to see how he was going to get us out of this!). I know I don't have the same rules for Cubs games as I do Bears games...they're more relaxed in the summer, but I really wasn't interested in what they had to say. (I might have gotten up if it was the Mailman or the UPS guy or Christian Bale.)

They kept ringing and began banging the door and trying the door knob! What the crap! So annoying!! So, I grab my trusty 3 Iron (thank you, Big John) and go to the door. Well, if it isn't the Mormon Witnesses (just a general merging of the names of 2 creepy culty religions--to be fair, it's just the extremists that freak me out) trying to save my heathen soul and make me drink some Kool-Aid. I feel bad threatening a fellow Christian, but come on! I don't actually have to open the door. And you most certainly have no right to check my door knob--I believe that's called Breaking and Entering, thank-you-very-much. Bible or no bible, if you're not invited in my house, you stay on the OUTSIDE. It's not like God gives them a monthly quota and it's the end of the month that they have to fill it or something.

I told them "Back off there, Churchy McJesus!" I hit my breaking point when the guy responded, "I'm not Irish." I don't think their Bible says "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...."

Clearly, I've become the crazy cat lady at the end of the block with the bludgeoning device. Maybe the scattering of religious pamphlets across my front lawn will be warning to all those Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses that come knocking on my door.

I said a Brat, Beef Kielbasa, Hot Smoked Sausage, Cheddar-Wurst!

I have this very strange habit of having either the TV or the radio in in the background for some noise. Maybe, subconsciously, I miss the kids at school (riiight!). It's not that I actively watch whatever's on, it just keeps me company. I do, however, perk up at some commercials. My mother can attest that, even as a child, I would pay no attention to the television show, and was content playing or coloring in the corner. The minute the commercials were on, my eyes would be glued to that big glowing box. Clearly, I missed my calling in marketing and advertising...lost genius I tell you! Anyway, this is my most recent amusement:



What is it about middle aged men in Hawiaan shirts creating a coordinated cheer and singing in harmony about grilled meats that completely cracks my shit up!? Why can't Kenny and Joe do that? I'm sure Drunk Charlie would join it--it would be great!

BTW--I've had the song from the Dell Computer commercial in my head for days. The one that goes "I am orange today..." Does anyone know the actual name of that song? (Sarah, I'm thinking ball is in your court on this one!)

Leprechauns, Unicorns & The Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow

What do Leprechauns, Unicorns & the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow all have in common? They're all things that you've heard exist but can't seem to find. My new thing to add to this list is Gatorade Endurance Formula in powder form.

I've had it before, I've received samples, but I just can't find it in the stores! I went to Fleet Feet (Pipers and Lincoln Square), the Runner's Edge, Jewel (at Dunning and on Montrose & Laurence), Butera, 2 GNC's and Dick's Sporting Goods. No one seems to have this stuff.

If anyone has a lead on it, let me know, but I think it would be easier to find a Republican in Chicago (yet another thing I've heard exists, but are endangered).

Resolutions...

Well, more than half the year is gone...let's see how we're doing with the ol' resolutions:

1) Give up pop: Not too bad...if nothing else is an option, I'll go for Diet Coke, but I've been good! At least I think I've kicked the full on Diet Coke addiction!
2) Complete the Disney Half Marathon: Give me a month and a half, I'm on it! I'm registered, the airfare is booked...I can see the medals!! I'm also registered for the 5k the day before!
3) Try to be vegetarian during lent: Check! I've been pretty much a veg for most of the year due to health reasons. Doc says I can have meat a few times a month...woo-hoo!
4) Complete the Shamrock Shuffle: Unofficially, check!! I forgot my chip on race day...but I did it anyway! With an unofficial pr time!
5) Complete the Flying Pig Marathon: Total check!! It was a beast of a marathon where almost everything went wrong, but I have the piggy medal!! I'm now in training for the Chicago Marathon and very seriously concidering Philly... (can you say 'addicted'?)
6) Complete the Soldier Field 10 Mile Race: Check! I finished on the fifty! PRed, got the medal and drank my beer!
7) Learn to swim so that I can complete a Triathlon: Check squared!! I'm even registered for a third tri this weekend!
8) Repeat the Chicago Distance Classic: Give me a month, and I'm there! I've even dragged Super Julia along for the ride on this one!! (She's a rockstar, by the way)
9) Earn a CARA Participation Award: I'm gonna be honest, I'm not certain this one's going to happen. I made this goal thinking that the CDC or the Marathon would be on the list of races that count. Not so much. However, I am a pacer for CARA's Marathon Training Program as well as a pacer for the R2R 20 miler. If that's not participating, I don't know what is!!

6 out of 9 done! And two more in the works...8 out of 9 isn't bad. Maybe y'all will cut me some slack on the last one...unless you're gonna volunteer to run some races with me!! (In which case, I say BRING IT ON!!)

Ova Flambe

Did you know it's possible to burn hard boiled eggs?
Did you know that those very same eggs can catch on fire and explode?

Yeah, I didn't either.

But there's nothing like my kitchen being covered in FLAMING EGG BITS! Teflon's not supposed to turn grey and flake off like that, right? (I think I need a new pot.)

Here's Bethie's PSA of the day: Check your smoke alarms...because the battery in mine is clearly dead.

They've taken over the pool too!

I just can't get away from them! I've really tried, but people at the gym piss me off!! I really shouldn't let people from the gym bug me...but then again, they shouldn't be complete asshats either.

I went to the gym to swim for an hour. These two girls in the pool were obnoxious. They kept horsing around. Now, I could have ignored them but they kept hanging on the lane lines and they almost kicked me in the face not once, but twice. They weren't actually swimming, they were just dicking around. Fine, take up the lane, but don't come in to mine! (Clearly I have personal bubble issues with swimming!) They also annoyed me with their bitching about their weight. I'm not saying that they don't have the right to bitch--I have no problem with the bitching, but please if you're going to bitch, stop making excuses and do something about it. Don't let me hear you (a few laps later) say that you love your pork rinds covered with lime juice and chili pepper (not kidding!). There were more irritating snippets, but it just aggravates me to re-live it.

There was also some guy splashing about, like a child, trying to impress some bikini clad, tanorexic, blond. That was awesome. I so enjoy using a wet towel when I emerge from the pool. Thanks man, I hope your ridiculousness got you laid, because it just irritated the crap out of me!

There was also the guy clearly swimming in his boxer briefs. He had some serious peakage issues. BLECH! That's exactly what I wanted to see when I came up for air at the end of the lane (EW!). I really hope he was suffering from shrinkage, because that's unfortunate for him if it's not.

Am I crazy for my notion that appropriate attire should be worn? Is it unreasonable to believe that if I hang my towel on the hook it should remain dry when I grab it at the end of the work out? I could share a lane if I had to, but I shouldn't have to worry about a behemoth teenager kicking me in the face because they're using the pool lane markers like a jungle gym. Am I wrong in thinking that this is a gym pool and therefore should be used for laps and other forms of legitimate exercise and or rehab?

Canoe!

First of all, I have to say (and, yes, I know it's completely random) canoe is a funny word! Funny to say...funny to spell...canoe, canoe canoe!

Ok, now that I've gotten that out of my system, one of my co-workers has picked up canoeing this summer! How fun is that? She called to see if I wanted to join her. I said--game on! So after a brief summer rain (and pina coladas) we headed out to a park owned by Lake County. Check out this view--so pretty!
Here's Judy in the back--the Captain of the Ship...
I'd never been in a canoe before, but it was a riot! I'll definitely have to take on more paddling challenges in the future!

Can anyone explain to me what people at my gym are thinking?

This morning I headed to the gym early to avoid the oppressive heat of this very hot Chicago day. I ran my 3 miles, lifted weights and hit the showers. Now, I understand that the locker room is a semi public place. I believe in being cautious of my surroundings. So I want to know if I'm over reacting...

Is it really ok to sit on the counter where the sinks are located (in towel and your underwear) and shave your legs?

Maybe I'm being impractical. Part of me thinks she was using the foam soap on her legs instead of shave cream. Not that she couldn't have done the same thing in the shower!!! (I think that if she had been on her cell phone at the same time, I would have lost it!)

The Danskin Tri

Yesterday was Danskin, it was good and bad...Open water is HARD to swim! And biking wasn't much easier with 20 mph winds and my chain falling off at mile six, but I still had a good time.

A pic of the start beach...many women ready to swim.

This is Sue, Elaine and I ready to swim.--Tri Buddies!

Elaine's husband took this pic of our wave swimming...and it totally cracked me up!!

I was very happy with my transitions. I felt really good about swim to bike. I almost cut my first transition time in half--ROCK STAR!!
Must get shoes on...
On my way with the bike... This next photo, is my favorite race photo ever-- Finish time 1:48:29Here's Elaine and me with our medals. Elaine rocked this race! I'm so proud of her! (She's so awesome!)

I still have some things to work on (SWIMMING!), but I'm still pretty proud of myself. If you had told me even a year ago that I'd be doing triathlons, I wouldn't have believed you...who knew!?

Lucky 7

It's a great season to be a Cubs fan! (Let's not discuss the second half of the Crosstown Classic). Not only are my Cubbies 3 1/2 games in first place but SEVEN Cubs are going to the All Star Game in New York! (If you haven't heard it's Dempster, Fukudome, Ramirez, Soriano, Soto, Wood, and Zambrano)

Come on boys! Help the NL get the win...this year it could matter for us in October!

(ps, the Cubs beat St. Louis 7-1 this afternoon too!)

Not so neighborly

I officially hate my neighbors. They need to move (and I say "they" because I was here first). They're awful, inconciderate and rude people.

Today's rant stems from the fact that they filled up ALL of my garbage cans with their trash. I generally don't use all of my garbage cans, so in theory this wouldn't be a problem, if they had ASKED first. Nope, they just filled my cans (with out asking) and left absolutely no room for any trash that I may have. So they filled up their 5 garbage cans and all 4 of mine. To top it off, most of the stuff should be recycled.

This may be a little thing to you, but it happens so often it's riduclous. It's not that they can't call the city and get more garbage cans. 311...not that hard. Or even ask if they can use mine. In addition to the on going trash issue, they have parked in my freshly shoveled driveway, yelled at people in my garage and even come in to my backyard and picked flowers and vegitables. (Seriously, my other neighbor next door actually yelled at them.)

UGH! Either move, or leave me alone!!

If Animals Could Talk...

I saw this commercial for the first time today. It doesn't make me want to drink Bud Light, but it did crack me up!

“Turd Ferguson, funny name…”

Yeah, that’s an old SNL reference, but it just, never stops being funny!

Anywho, I was out running and I was wearing my Flying Pig Marathon race shirt. This random guy thought it was funny and offered me 20 bucks for it. DUDE!! I earned that shirt!! (Ya’ll have seen the post!)

I realized there must be other marathons with funny names, so I’ve decided to create a list of endurance races I’d like to run, just for the fun name. I’ve included a link to the site, not only to prove they’re real, but also if you’re interested in running that race too!

• The Lost Dutchman Marathon Ah, freaky-deeky Dutch. There’s a whole load of Austin Power’s jokes I could make at this one!!
• The biggest oxymoron I know…The Dunkin’ Donuts Cape Cod Marathon. How does Dunkin’ Donuts sponsor a race? Deep fried dough is not synonymous with running in my book!
• The Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon Who doesn’t want to say they’ve escaped from Alcatraz?!
• The Martian Marathon, completely random, alien themed marathon. The shirt looks like a space suit!
• Mad Moose Marathon, First of all moose crack me up. Second, this one’s in Canada…I’ll be calling people hoosers for 26 miles!
• Flying Monkey Marathon Their motto? "Seize the Monkey"--Oh, yeah!
• Finally, this series wins...The Sweaty Butt 50k I'm not even kidding when I tell you it’s part of the TriAssthlon, which includes the Big Butt 50k, and the Take Pride in Your Hide 5k, and you could win the “Triple Butt Crown”. I’ll let you make the jokes on your own…it’s too easy for me!

I’m sure there’s more out there, I’ll add ‘em when I find ‘em! Runners have the best sense of humor!

As Seen on a Test

This summer, I'm teaching United States History at the High School level. As part of the curriculum, I'm required to give a Constitution Test.

Just so you know-- (as seen on the test):

• The first ten amendments to the Constitution are called "The Ten Commandments". (Thou shalt have the rights to ...?!)
• The Judicial Branch enforces the laws, the Legislative Branch makes the laws and the Executive Branch breaks the laws. (Ok, so I guess they weren't that far off...)
• Also, should George W. Bush no longer be able to serve as President of the United States, he will be succeeded by the Vice President. Who happens to be George Washington. If George Washington cannot serve (and let's face it, he probably isn't able), I'm next in line for the Presidency. (Hail to the Chief!)

Now you know. (I swear, sometimes, I think I'm talking to myself!)

Froggy Gifts

Ah, my dating life...definitely fraught with peril. This one really threw me for a loop.

Rick** and I had chatted a few times and decided to meet for a movie. At the theater, Rick says, "I have a gift for you."

A gift? Odd for this early, but slightly flattering. What could it be? Now, I would think that a flower would be typical, or at least traditional. Nope, that, of course, would be too easy.

Rick hands me a toothbrush.

WTF?!?! No, he's not a dentist, or have any occupation involving the mouth. I don't think I have bad breath. I brush regularly, and when in doubt, I have candy and gum. This is bizarre, right? (Please tell me it's not just me!)

**As always, the names have been changed to protect the freaks.