The Ressies are Back

I went to the gym this morning to find it crawling with Resolutionists or "Ressies". What is a "Ressie"? The "ressies" are a rude breed of people who feel the need to make a "lifestyle change" at the start of a New Year, but eventually stop coming to the gym after a month.

While I do agree that having a healthy lifestyle is important, I also think that people need to have proper decorum at the gym. That's where the rudeness comes in. If these "ressies" were at the gym all the time they would know the procedures and be on a set schedule. I would come at a different, non-peak time of day. I don't care that there are other people at the gym. I care that people choose to prance about like their in their own homes. For example, standing on the sides of the treadmill because you're too winded to continue while there's people waiting is just plain rude. Walking about naked in the locker room and popping pimples/picking at your skin in the mirror (yes, she was naked--and should NOT have been) is gross. Telling someone that they have placed their coat in the wrong locker is just ridiculous (happened to me today!).

I have to admit, I did go to the gym at a different time than I usually do. It is possible that some think I'm a "ressie" because I'm usually not there at 9:00 am in the morning. My usual time is actually 3 or 4 hours earlier.

Because I'm poo-pooing on the "ressies" resolutions, I would like to offer the "ressies" a list of alternate resolutions. Ones that wouldn't annoy the crap out of regular gym-goers, and these might actually be attainable. Here are 10 suggestions, in no particular order:

Bethie's List of Attainible New Years Resolutions

1) Resolve to purchase exercise DVD's. This is a win-win for everyone. a) DVD's are cheaper than the cost of a gym membership. b) You won't clog up the gym. c) When you get sick of the DVD's, you can trade them with other "ressies". Finally, d) this resolution only states that you will purchase the DVD's, it does not state that you actually have to work out to one.

2) Resolve to walk more. This one gets you moving and off the couch. It's easy. Take one step. Take another. Repeat. See? Told you it was easy. It will reduce carbon emissions from driving. Also, if people in the Chicago-land area are walking more, they can avoid the new craptastic fees that have come into place in 2012 including; Increased parking rates, increased rates on parking meters, increased city stickers and increased tolls.

3) Resolve to read more. Like my blog. (Shameless plug)

4) Resolve to become "A Person of Mystery". You don't actually have to do much, you just have to keep your mouth shut (ok, this one could be hard for a lot of people). One way to do this is to hide from people and cease communication. Another is to not walk around naked at the gym with your 40 year old breasts flapping about. (Clearly, I'm still scared from this morning.)

5) Resolve to avoid Barracudas. It just makes sense, those things are mean!

6) Resolve to put peanut butter on more things. If your allergic, try almond butter or Nutella... Hmm...put peanut butter on Nutella...

7) Resolve to be nice and friendly. Nobody likes an asshole. This would be a much better world if people stopped running their mouths, took a deep breath and just let things go or took a walk to blow off steam (see option #2 for walking details and benefits).

8) Resolve to catch up on your correspondence. Go to the post office, buy some stamps. Send people letters through snail-mail. Everyone loves mail that's not a bill! What? You don't know what to write? Send a thank you note (people should show more gratitude anyway). Or go to Hallmark. They have postage paid cards and post cards now. All you have to do is sign your name and address it. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! The US Post Office has had to make cut-backs due to email and the internet. You'd be helping the economy by saving (or even creating) a postal employee's job. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

9) On the list of not so fuzzy resolutions (hey, I needed one for the slightly evil readers), Resolve to help others break their resolutions. Again, slightly evil, but fun! This one keeps not only you, but other "ressies" out of the gym. Use this time to bond, plot ways to get others out of their resolutions (most people fail anyway), or get some hot chocolate.

10) Resolve not to make any more resolutions. When people ask why, tell them that you love your awesome-self just the way you are and that you don't need to change.

If you haven't made a resolution yet, I hope this helps you choose one. If you've made a resolution to run a marathon, awesome (If it's a fall one, you don't have to start training until June). If you've resolved to make a "lifestyle change", I hope this gives you an option for something immediately satisfying and allows you to wait until the gym clears out to get yourself in shape.

Not Again!

I have gotten yet another crack at jury duty. And yes, because it's me I've been selected to be a juror. I'm stuck on this thing until at least next Monday. And while I'm not allowed to discuss the case, I will have a lovely blog detailing any events after the fact.

But for today I'd like to highlight some suggestions in ways the state could make jury duty a little better.

1) Access to a treadmill or other work out equipment. You really expect me to sit still for 8 hours and listen? Damn near impossible. I can watch TV at the gym while I run on the treadmill, why can't I run and listen to the testimony?

2) A COMFORTABLE place to sit. Those chairs suck. How about a lounger, or at least something more ergonomic!

3) Payment above slave wages. I did the math. The $17.20 check broken down to a 7 hour day (not getting paid for lunch hour) is $2.45 an hour. Total crap. Isn't there a national minimum wage?

4) Hours comparable to my regular work day. Teachers generally don't have to stay at work until 5:00pm. Granted, I'm probably going to get some scorn from those who don't have the same hours, but I'll remind you that teachers do more work in their off hours than in other professions.

5) Knowing that for every day that you actually have to sit on a jury, you get 2 years where you won't be summoned. So, in this case, I'll be on a jury until at least next Monday. With this equation, I wouldn't have to be called again for 12 years. And if this equation was true, I wouldn't be in this situation now...I'd still have time from the last time I served. That seems much more fair to me since I can think of tons of people I know that have never been called.

6) Raffle off prizes. I'm sure business could donate, sports tickets, spa treatments, gift certificates, ect. If I knew there was a chance to win me some Bears tickets...I think I'd be serving a little more cheerfully.

I'm sure over the course of the next week, I'll be coming up with more helpful suggestions, until then I will be sitting in the jury box.

Spring Break?

Facts:

• It's April.
• I'm on Spring Break.
• It's snowing, blustry and all around crappy out.

What the hell?!

Not again!

Yesterday positively sucked. Fortunately, I didn't check my mail because the insult to injury would have been the fact that there was a jury summons waiting for me.

Ugh. I just know I'm going to get picked again...damn my innocent aura and wholesome face!

Who Took My Cheese?

I came home from a very long day, and decided on some comfort food for dinner. I opened a box of Mac & Cheese to find... NO CHEESE!!!

What the crap!? I mean, it's half the product!! And let's face it, the cheese is the best part of the whole thing. While I could easily make due, it's not the point...I want my cheese!

That time of year...

That's right, it's that time of year when the gym is flooded with all those fakers, who made New Years Resolutions to get back in to shape, crowding my gym and taking up my machines. Now I have no problem with people at the gym. But I do have a problem with the fact that this should be a lifestyle, not something of convenience. If these people truly wanted to be in shape, I'd see them in July too!

But I digress. Along with the hordes of out of shape couch potato's comes with a whole host of people who just don't know how to behave at they gym. I swear, it's ridiculous!! In the past 2 weeks, I've witnessed more than necessary, including:

1. The naked people are back. Yep, the ones who think it's cool to lounge about the locker room naked or scarcely clothed talking on their cell phones or just generally prancing about. And trust me, they're not the people any one wants to see naked.
2. The people who don't know how to work the treadmills. Ok, these people really don't annoy me. When they fall off, it's kinda funny. (I can laugh, it's happened to me!)
3. The people who are lost. My trainer was stretching me out near the large windows over looking the pool. Some guy came over and asked him where the pool was!! He pointed behind him to the large body of water. Then the guy asked, "How do I get in?" Hector pointed to the door (just a few feet away) and also mentioned that there was a door through the locker room.
4. People who talk loudly on their cell phones while they are using the machines. If you're going that slowly on the machine, you need to get off the phone and amp it up!! Also, I don't care about the gossip in your world (really? you slept with this heinous guy last night?!), nor do I think you should give mileage reports from your treadmill while you are walking.
5. Couples who make out. I was on the stair stepper and this couple got off the machines in front of me and proceeded to make out. I saw tongue...and much more than I wanted to see. To make things worse, they wouldn't stop! I had to get off the stair machine, it was that bad.
6. Excessive cologne. I shouldn't smell you for 5 minutes after you've walked by.
7. The people who just hang out near machines. They're not actually doing anything. I think they just go to the gym to say that they've gone to the gym that day.
8. On a similar note there's the people who stare. They just stare at you while you're on a machine or working out. I don't get it. It's just creepy!
9. Those who turn the gym into a meat market. I go to the gym to work out. Not to socialize, not to pick up men. TO WORK OUT. I don't want some guy to be 'hanging out' just to hit on me when I get off the treadmill.
10. Creepy, hair guys in the whirlpool. I hate that they're sitting there gawking when I swim laps. No, I don't need you to count for me, and no, I didn't turn my head while swimming to talk to you. It's called breathing. I guess maybe, in this case, drowning would have been the better option.

Can you tell I'm annoyed? I wouldn't mind the extra crowd if I didn't have to put up with these offenses. I've been heading to the gym before work, just to avoid the people and the problems. I can't wait until these people give up and go back to their couches.

Are You Smarter Than an NFL Quarterback?

Most of you know that my Sundays are spent glued to my couch watching football (btw--I have no comment on the Bears/Packers game that wouldn't be an obscene string of swear words). Today, the Eagles/Bengals game resulted in a tie. Check out this post-game interview from Donvan McNabb.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!? AAARGH!! I almost fell off my couch when I first heard the interview. He didn't know that that it could result in the tie?! "I didn't even know that was in the rule book." That's ridiculous! You can't tell me that I know more about football than an NFL quarterback (with the exception of Brian Griese, of course)! It seems like that would be critical information, for a quarterback--ya know, strategy wise?

So, Donovan, here's how it works: If at the end of the game there's a tie between two teams, there is a 5th quarter that is sudden death over time. If at the end of that quarter, no team has scored, the result is a tie. The NFL standings have 3 columns; the first marked with a W (for wins), the second with a L (for losses) and the last with a 'T' for tie. It seems rather self-explanatory, and it's been that way since 1974. Since you missed it, a tie counts as 1/2 a win and 1/2 a loss.

Finally, Donovan, Amazon.com carries both Football for Dummies and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Football, both for under $20. You may want to add one of those to your reading list.

World's Largest Personal Ad

In this day and age, there are a million ways to find a date. It seems that many of them haven't worked for me...but then again, they may work for others. However, I've found one that's completely extreme. There's a woman looking to raise 3 million dollars to get an ad spot during the Superbowl. Her website, superbowlsinglegirl.com shows her story, as well as her current amount fundraised ($741.00 as of post time).

There's just soooo much wrong with all of this!! First of all, does no one else think this woman is a few fries short of a Happy Meal? I mean, CRA--ZY!! And if you're this nuts, do you think a man is really going to want to date you? (Unless he, himself, is just as loony...and then y'all shouldn't breed.) This is not the optimism of a hopeless romantic, this is insanity.

Second the Superbowl?!? Seriously, try match.com or a personal add in the paper, or even Craig's list! Most of you know that I consider Superbowl Sunday to be a holiday. I don't want this chickie to ruin my holiday!! (don't mess with my Superbowl!!) The commercials are for getting another beer, more food or using the bathroom. Not for watching the commercials (you can check those out online the next day). The focus should be on FOOTBALL!!

Does she really think this is the best method to get a guy? This is a national spot, she lives in New York, what is she going to want with Bubba in Appalachia? Maybe it's just me, but I've found that long distance never seems to work out, unless someone is going to move.

There's even different levels of giving to this cause. For $10 grand, you'll not only help this desperate woman, but you'll also get an invite to her wedding. Do you really need to pay $10,000 for a ticket to a freak show? And what of the other weirdo's that would pay that...the mayhem that could ensue!

Finally, how is this website even still running? The phrase "Superbowl" is copyrighted. Roger Goodell, where are you and your high priced lawyers to shut that site down for copyright infringement!!

I know I think this is ridiculous, and I would like this woman to be happy. But really, wouldn't it be a better use of your time to have a web site that could act as your personal add? I just don't get it...

Fake Baking

I hate to sound like a grinch, but when I go to a wedding reception there are two important things that I look for: Open Bar and Wedding Cake. (Clearly, I'm a woman with priorities.) Sure, I dig the whole two people are in love gettin' together thing. The first dance is lovely. I oblige and laugh at the Best Man's embarrassing speech. I run from the bouquet like it's a hand grenade. But I get all in a tissy when I see couples smashing cake in each other's faces--really, it's unnecessary and waste of perfectly good butter cream frosting! But I digress...

Anywho, when I heard about this concept, but I didn't believe it until I Googled it (and if can be found in Google, it must be true!). There is a service where you can rent a wedding cake! Apparently, the cost of baked goods have "sky rocketed" and instead of paying for a nice cake, you rent one that looks amazing, but it's made from styrofoam. Then there's a special section that has a secret compartment for the cutting of the cake part of the reception. Finally, fake cake is wheeled away and a cheaper sheet cake is served to the guests.

Now, I love wedding cake (ya'll know I have a major sweet tooth!) but you don't have to fake me out. Have a little cake that you use for the reception. Do the cake part and save the rest for your first anniversary. No biggie. I'm certain you can find a cute little thing to show off. I have no problem eating a well made sheet cake (with kick-ass frosting of course!) Don't lie to me (it makes me feel so used!)

Not that I've researched it, but really, how much does a wedding cake really cost? These fake cakes things sound expensive to me! These things start at $150.00 and the cost goes up. Plus you add the cost of the sheet cakes to the mix for your guests. Several hundred dollars for fake cake? Plus a $200 security deposit (which cracks me up--that's like insuring cigars against fire) Are you kidding me?

I want to make it clear, there is no edible part of the cake. In fact, according to the website, there's a secret compartment in the back of the cake that holds "three pieces of Twinkie(R), fit perfectly." Call me a princess, but I really don't want to indulge in a Twinkies on my wedding day (because nothin' says "I love you" like Twinkie the Kid).

This just sounds too bizarre to me...really has anyone actually seen this in real life?

Grossness!

I'm not the sort to enjoy things involving blood and guts. I won't even watch horror movies. So it amazes me that I know so many people in the medical profession. It's even more mind boggling that these very same people want to tell me their gross work stories, even though they know that the mere thought of an IV makes me gag.

It's also funny that what I consider gross for my job compared to gross for someone elses job. For example:

Gross at my job: Kid sticks red crayon up his nose.
Gross at Barb's Job: Festering, puss filled boil on ass that spurts four feet.

Gross at my job: Kid picking his nose. Not only that, he was stringing the booger out and touching it to different places on his face.
Gross at Amy's job: Finding hanging victim swinging from a tree in their back yard.

Gross at my job: Kid eats paint, paste and assorted other supplies used in that day's project.
Gross at Ken's job: Woman attacked with acid causing her body to disintegrate and turn green.

Gross at my job: Cockroaches infesting a trumpet case and running all over the band room. (OK, so it happened to Sarah, but it was still at my place of employment!!)
Gross at Melissa's job: Various medications improperly given, killing off surrounding tissue and a as a result being able to see the the person's bones.

Yuck, yuck, yuck!!

An Open Letter to Riders of the CTA

Hello, readers! I have found in my travels this week several issues to which I'd like to address:

First of all, a show of respect for ones elders. I stood up to give my seat to a woman on the crowded el this afternoon. As I was offering my seat, some punk ass kid took the seat. Not that I'm ancient, but I was older than this kid!! And the woman to which I was relinquishing the seat couldn't have been that old (maybe 40's or 50's) but out of respect, I offered my seat. That seat should not have gone to some teenager. What the crap?! The elderly, injured and pregnant woman should, in fact have priority!!

Second, I would like to remind you that it is AUGUST. Therefore, activating the heat lamps is neither necessary nor amusing. On a side note to the CTA, how the hell is it that those things don't work in December, yet can blaze away in this humidity?!

Moving along; please bathe. Preferably in clean water and not in perfume or cologne.

Also, it's just fine if you're unfamiliar with public transportation. It's not ok, for you to wander aimlessly and block the flow of people. If you're not certain which direction to go, then ask for help (CTA employee/police officer/friendly looking yuppie). But don't stand at the top of the stairs/escalator/doorway/blocking the entire platform with a puzzled look on your face. Just because you haven't a clue doesn't mean you should make the rest of us late. I have no problems giving you directions, but please, get the hell out of my way. On the same token, please don't take up an entire stair on the escalator and make out. There are people trying to walk up the stairs, and you're blocking the way. Make out in an unobtrusive place (ie GET A ROOM!)

Before I go on, I want to make it clear I fully support ones right to free speech. However, I don't want to hear your discussion of anal sex with your significant other. I also don't care who's screwing whom (unless I actually know these people), the virtues of polygamy (yes, they were moving to Utah), or the finer details of your child vomiting on your dog (and the dog eating it). I believe that it's possible to have these conversations at a reasonable volume as not to include an entire el car.

Next, no, I do not want to join your creepy culty religion. Nor do I want any sort of reading material that will try to entice me to join your creepy culty religion. Please don't offer me any Kool-aid either (I know better than to take food or drink from strangers, thank-you-very-much). You have the right to your religious beliefs, I have the right to mine. It's ok if they're not the same, I promise.

Finally, please remember that you are in public. Therefore, I do understand that bodily functions are natural and normal, I would prefer a discretion in their emission. I do not need to hear you continually hack up lugies and spit them at the third rail. If you're above the age of 12, it's not cool to be able to belch the alphabet. And if that burrito is becoming musical, please be discrete and keep your ass away from my delicate nasal passages. P.S. Shitting your pants (literally) and then choosing a seat is not ok!! Bacon strips in your underwear is gross enough, please don't leave them on the bus too!

Thank you for your time.

But I don't wanna drink the Kool-Aid!

It's the middle of the afternoon, I'm home and of course watching the Cubs/Marlins game. When three men wearing matching light blue short sleeved dress shirts, maroon ties and backpacks come to my door and ring my doorbell. (In my defence, the front doorbell is actually broken, so it doesn't actually ring--oppsie!) I'm not a fan of answering the door when I don't know the person on the other side (Stranger Danger!). They proceed to keep ringing the bell.

I know they can see and possibly hear that my TV is on, but I not feeling motivated to answer the door (It's the top of the 5th and Dempster loaded the bases---I HAD to see how he was going to get us out of this!). I know I don't have the same rules for Cubs games as I do Bears games...they're more relaxed in the summer, but I really wasn't interested in what they had to say. (I might have gotten up if it was the Mailman or the UPS guy or Christian Bale.)

They kept ringing and began banging the door and trying the door knob! What the crap! So annoying!! So, I grab my trusty 3 Iron (thank you, Big John) and go to the door. Well, if it isn't the Mormon Witnesses (just a general merging of the names of 2 creepy culty religions--to be fair, it's just the extremists that freak me out) trying to save my heathen soul and make me drink some Kool-Aid. I feel bad threatening a fellow Christian, but come on! I don't actually have to open the door. And you most certainly have no right to check my door knob--I believe that's called Breaking and Entering, thank-you-very-much. Bible or no bible, if you're not invited in my house, you stay on the OUTSIDE. It's not like God gives them a monthly quota and it's the end of the month that they have to fill it or something.

I told them "Back off there, Churchy McJesus!" I hit my breaking point when the guy responded, "I'm not Irish." I don't think their Bible says "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...."

Clearly, I've become the crazy cat lady at the end of the block with the bludgeoning device. Maybe the scattering of religious pamphlets across my front lawn will be warning to all those Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses that come knocking on my door.

Leprechauns, Unicorns & The Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow

What do Leprechauns, Unicorns & the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow all have in common? They're all things that you've heard exist but can't seem to find. My new thing to add to this list is Gatorade Endurance Formula in powder form.

I've had it before, I've received samples, but I just can't find it in the stores! I went to Fleet Feet (Pipers and Lincoln Square), the Runner's Edge, Jewel (at Dunning and on Montrose & Laurence), Butera, 2 GNC's and Dick's Sporting Goods. No one seems to have this stuff.

If anyone has a lead on it, let me know, but I think it would be easier to find a Republican in Chicago (yet another thing I've heard exists, but are endangered).

They've taken over the pool too!

I just can't get away from them! I've really tried, but people at the gym piss me off!! I really shouldn't let people from the gym bug me...but then again, they shouldn't be complete asshats either.

I went to the gym to swim for an hour. These two girls in the pool were obnoxious. They kept horsing around. Now, I could have ignored them but they kept hanging on the lane lines and they almost kicked me in the face not once, but twice. They weren't actually swimming, they were just dicking around. Fine, take up the lane, but don't come in to mine! (Clearly I have personal bubble issues with swimming!) They also annoyed me with their bitching about their weight. I'm not saying that they don't have the right to bitch--I have no problem with the bitching, but please if you're going to bitch, stop making excuses and do something about it. Don't let me hear you (a few laps later) say that you love your pork rinds covered with lime juice and chili pepper (not kidding!). There were more irritating snippets, but it just aggravates me to re-live it.

There was also some guy splashing about, like a child, trying to impress some bikini clad, tanorexic, blond. That was awesome. I so enjoy using a wet towel when I emerge from the pool. Thanks man, I hope your ridiculousness got you laid, because it just irritated the crap out of me!

There was also the guy clearly swimming in his boxer briefs. He had some serious peakage issues. BLECH! That's exactly what I wanted to see when I came up for air at the end of the lane (EW!). I really hope he was suffering from shrinkage, because that's unfortunate for him if it's not.

Am I crazy for my notion that appropriate attire should be worn? Is it unreasonable to believe that if I hang my towel on the hook it should remain dry when I grab it at the end of the work out? I could share a lane if I had to, but I shouldn't have to worry about a behemoth teenager kicking me in the face because they're using the pool lane markers like a jungle gym. Am I wrong in thinking that this is a gym pool and therefore should be used for laps and other forms of legitimate exercise and or rehab?

Can anyone explain to me what people at my gym are thinking?

This morning I headed to the gym early to avoid the oppressive heat of this very hot Chicago day. I ran my 3 miles, lifted weights and hit the showers. Now, I understand that the locker room is a semi public place. I believe in being cautious of my surroundings. So I want to know if I'm over reacting...

Is it really ok to sit on the counter where the sinks are located (in towel and your underwear) and shave your legs?

Maybe I'm being impractical. Part of me thinks she was using the foam soap on her legs instead of shave cream. Not that she couldn't have done the same thing in the shower!!! (I think that if she had been on her cell phone at the same time, I would have lost it!)

Not so neighborly

I officially hate my neighbors. They need to move (and I say "they" because I was here first). They're awful, inconciderate and rude people.

Today's rant stems from the fact that they filled up ALL of my garbage cans with their trash. I generally don't use all of my garbage cans, so in theory this wouldn't be a problem, if they had ASKED first. Nope, they just filled my cans (with out asking) and left absolutely no room for any trash that I may have. So they filled up their 5 garbage cans and all 4 of mine. To top it off, most of the stuff should be recycled.

This may be a little thing to you, but it happens so often it's riduclous. It's not that they can't call the city and get more garbage cans. 311...not that hard. Or even ask if they can use mine. In addition to the on going trash issue, they have parked in my freshly shoveled driveway, yelled at people in my garage and even come in to my backyard and picked flowers and vegitables. (Seriously, my other neighbor next door actually yelled at them.)

UGH! Either move, or leave me alone!!

Not a fan of the Supreme Court

The Supreme Court set two landmark rulings this week, both of which I disagree to some degree.

The first is the the right to carry hand guns. I would like to first say, I have a valid FOID card. I believe in the rights afforded to me by the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and it's Amendments. However, I also believe in my own personal safety and the safety of others.

The Second Amendment allows for a "well regulated militia". If that's the case, then there should be also well regulated laws in place for those carrying those guns. I have no problem with a well trained, calm, rational, person owning a gun. However, I do have a problem with a punk-ass gang banger outside my school shooting. And I know you don't want me to get on the soap box about my biological father!!

I can see that criminals are carrying guns, and using them. Therefore, this case would allow me to carry a handgun for my own personal protection (much more intimidating than my mace--Thanks Jack!). In theory, it's a nice idea. Make it legal for me to fight back...I dig it. The problem arises that I would need this weapon in the neighborhood where I teach. It would not be appropriate for me to bring a gun to work. Who's going to argue for having a hand gun in school? Not me! And besides, if my cell phone and digital camera were stolen, what's to stop my hand gun from also being taken. It would not be safe to leave a loaded weapon in my car. If my car was stolen or broken into they would also have the weapon, thus putting a lethal weapon in the hands of yet another criminal.

The point of this ruling was to say that the amendment was written with the individual rites of the person in mind (don't forget the amendment was written 200 years ago!). I appreciate that my individual rights are being protected, but where is the line? We have laws and punishments in place because people cannot handle the freedoms afforded to them by our country. If this ruling eradicates the handgun ban in the city of Chicago, I expect much severe laws to be placed on the books AND ENFORCED. More freedom goes hand and hand with more responsibility. I hope that this responsibility takes into account the general safety of others.

Besides this, what training is there in place for those carrying the guns? Getting a FOID card requires no more than $5, an application and a background check. What about if I wanted to actually go out and get a gun? I have no training. Sure, I'm a responsible person, and if I wanted a gun, I recognize the safety issues and would be trained on how to use it. Not everyone has this sense of responsibility!

The second landmark ruling was that the use of capitol punishment for the rape of a child was a violation of the 8th Amendment. I'm sure you can see that I'm at a struggle with the last ruling. I'm stuck between my personal safety and my personal freedoms. This second ruling pisses me off. There are sooooo many things wrong with this ruling.

First of all, you can see that I am in favor of capitol punishment. I can say this because with all the checks and balances in place, a person can be on death row for years before they are executed. The laws are written in such a way giving the criminal the benefit of the doubt. The law would rather have a guilty person go free than imprison an innocent person. Furthermore, it irritates me that a convicted felon in prison is afforded more luxuries than I have as a free woman. My tax dollars pay for free education, free cable, 3 squares a day...sure there is the threat of being made someone's bitch...but it's a trade off.

On a slight side tangent, it irritates me that there is no reform for a criminal in the prison program. It seems to be a revolving door of many of the same persons going in and out. With reform programs we'd have less criminals and a better society as a whole. Sure, not everyone can be helped, but I'm sure it would help more than it hurt.

Back to the issue: If the law allows an "eye for an eye" so to speak, on murder cases how is it fair for a child rapist to be simply imprisoned? That child has to live the rest of its life with the scars of the memory of the incident. If it was a recurrent abuse case this compounds the situation. Our children are precious impressionable beings. I can see the result first hand of children being raised in less than desirable situations. It isn't easy to have a child succeed if they don't see the possible successes they can achieve. A raped/abused child, with out proper counseling (and possibly even with it) may not stand a chance at a normal life. That rapist has taken that child's innocence and childhood. I understand it's possible for a child to recover, but it's not easy. How is it that child pedophiles, abusers, and rapists are let off in this manner?

By the law, the accused has the right to a trial by a jury of his/her peers. If the jury of their peers finds the defendant guilty, they should have the option to give a sentence of capitol punishment. Have you ever served on a jury? Do you know how hard it is to get 12 people to agree? Even with the "open and shut" case that I was on, there was still some dissent on the wording of our verdict. If 12 jurors can agree to a capitol sentence then it should be enacted. I guarantee that there will be at least one person on that jury that does not take that sentence lightly.

I agree that a punishment should fit the crime. I simply don't see the reform or justice by a life sentence in prison. In my opinion, Child rape and abuse is one of the most heinous crimes one can commit. It is disgusting and despicable. With capitol crime, I'm not certain that the punishment is a deterrent. The average person has a sense of right and wrong. The punishments in the case of capitol offenses are not only to punish but to keep the deviants out of society and people safe. Until the reforms for rehabilitation in the prison system are in place I will stand behind that statement. With that being the case, the death penalty ensures that no person will have to suffer at the hands of a repeat offense. Isn't that what we're looking to happen? Capitol punishment ensures it.

I believe that the rights, freedoms, and pursuits of happiness should be held higher for the common good of people rather than for criminals. Criminals have the rights in place for fair and speedy trials, and also an abstention from cruel and unusual punishment. Were they not criminals, they wouldn't have to worry about having their rights violated. Upon the completion of their sentences, reforms should be in place not only for a smooth transition to society, but also to keep that person from falling back in to their prior pattern of crime.

Shame on you, Supreme Court for ensuring better treatment for the criminal, rather than for vindication for the innocent.

My New Super Power

I think I have discovered my super power. Apparently, I have mastered the art of invisiblity. First of all, at work I was sitting at a table with my children and several people walked in my classroom and couldn't find me. (Yeah, because I totally look like an 8th grader.)

Then, I was in line at Panera to get dinner today. This couple walked in, and the guy walked right in front of me and stood less than too inches away as if I wasn't even there!! His significant other that he was with, finally noticed and scolded him.

If that wasn't enough, I was swimming (and I use that term loosely), I got out of the pool and the life guard said "Oh, Hi Beth, I didn't see you there." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Wow, that's comforting, didn't see me in the pool. Great. Good thing I didn't drown.

Clearly, my super power is the gift of invisiblity...maybe I missed my calling, clearly I should have been a spy instead of an art teacher!

People are Animals

Today in Chicago a cougar was shot by the Chicago Police Department. What the hell?!?!

Ok, sure it's completely bizaro that there was a frickin' cougar wandering the streets of Roscoe Village, but I really think that this situation could have been handled differently.

First of all, the cougar didn't need to be shot. It hadn't eaten anybody. And it's not as if cougars are over run in the forest preserves like deer! In fact, not one officer was harmed by the animal. Not necessary to kill the animal. There's school shootings left and right. Those murderers are entitled to a fair trial, and Illinois hasn't had an execution in years! I say soooo not fair for the big kitty. Even dogs that actually attacked people are euthanized much more humanely than being shot several times by a police issue glock.

Furthermore, do you really think the best thing to do is to chase the animal on foot? It's a WILD animal. If it's chased, don't you think the odds are high of pissing it off? Is it not common knowledge that if you corner an animal, it's apt to fight back? I don't think chasing it would solve much. I mean, it's a cat. Eventually it's going to just sit and chill until it feels the need to hunt. And for those of you who are screaming at me about the safety of the children, I'm confident that if the cougar really wanted a snack, one of those kids would have been eaten. And if you are screaming safety, think of all the stray bullets that didn't hit the cat. Much more lethal than one cougar. Why on earth wasn't animal control called? I believe it's called a TRANQUILIZER DART. Hell, it's Chicago. I'm sure someone could have gotten a big juicy steak (I know places where I could get a whole pig!) to occupy him until he could be sedated.

I think the Quizno's Coyote (which, btw, was right around this time last year) really got a better deal. He was trapped by animal control. Next he was taken to the suburbs to a wildlife refuge and then re-introduced to the wild.

What's a cat gotta do to get a break?

Hug Bank

I am officially at the point where marathon training is kicking my ass. I'm tired, sore and crabby. This has been my status for the entire week. I'm not looking forward to next week (it's the Big Run--and by 'Big Run', I mean the 20 miler), because I'm sick of having my ass kicked.

I know, I know, I did this to myself.It's not that I want to quit. I'm not even entertaining the thought. I think the major reason that I'm feeling this way is that I've had a nasty sinus infection for 3 weeks now. The antibiotics I'm on only seem to take the edge off. They're not killing whatever is making me miserable. I'm not even death's door sick. I'm just congested (nose and lungs) and I tire easily. All I want is for this sinus thing to be done with!!

I guess I'm just at the point where I could use a serious hug.

I think that there should be a place that gives out hugs. Like a Hug Bank. Huggers, of course would have to go through a background check. No one wants a hug that makes them feel icky (bad touch! bad touch!!).

There would also be certain scented huggers. For some reason, the smell of onions on your hands is very comforting to me. Growing up, it seemed like Mom's hands always had that smell from cooking. It's not a straight up onion smell, it's combined with other things that she was cooking. It's not that her hands were dirty, it's just the residual from being in the kitchen. It's what Mom smelled like, and after a scraped knee, there was nothing like a band-aid and a hug from Mom! Sometimes my hands smell like that...usually after making chicken soup. Call me weird, but you know what I'm talking about. Maybe be it's cookies, or a special dish--everyone's got their thing.

But, I digress. The point is, whatever was comforting to you...your Hugger would smell just that way. And you could pick your Hugger. You know, there are different types of hugs. You could get a Mom Hug. Maybe a Big Bear Hug. Or one of those hugs that also cracks your back. Maybe Huggers could get overtime, if they were needed for a crying hug. There could be group hugs or quick hugs.

And just for convenience there could be some High Fiver's too. Sometimes you're so awesome you deserve a high five and no one's around. This would solve the problem. High Fivers would also be responsible for Pats on the Back (it just seems logical).

I also think that dedicated Huggers should have some sort of badge. Then you'd know they were safe, and you could stop one on the street if you needed a hug...much like a Hug ATM, if you will.

I think that we could get people to do this job. It would be excellent for senior citizens. Instead of being a greeter at WalMart, they could be Huggers instead. There are voluenteer baby huggers in the NICU, so why can't this be spread to grown ups?

I need a hug.