Monday, January 2, 2012

The Ressies are Back

I went to the gym this morning to find it crawling with Resolutionists or "Ressies". What is a "Ressie"? The "ressies" are a rude breed of people who feel the need to make a "lifestyle change" at the start of a New Year, but eventually stop coming to the gym after a month.

While I do agree that having a healthy lifestyle is important, I also think that people need to have proper decorum at the gym. That's where the rudeness comes in. If these "ressies" were at the gym all the time they would know the procedures and be on a set schedule. I would come at a different, non-peak time of day. I don't care that there are other people at the gym. I care that people choose to prance about like their in their own homes. For example, standing on the sides of the treadmill because you're too winded to continue while there's people waiting is just plain rude. Walking about naked in the locker room and popping pimples/picking at your skin in the mirror (yes, she was naked--and should NOT have been) is gross. Telling someone that they have placed their coat in the wrong locker is just ridiculous (happened to me today!).

I have to admit, I did go to the gym at a different time than I usually do. It is possible that some think I'm a "ressie" because I'm usually not there at 9:00 am in the morning. My usual time is actually 3 or 4 hours earlier.

Because I'm poo-pooing on the "ressies" resolutions, I would like to offer the "ressies" a list of alternate resolutions. Ones that wouldn't annoy the crap out of regular gym-goers, and these might actually be attainable. Here are 10 suggestions, in no particular order:


Bethie's List of Attainible New Years Resolutions

1) Resolve to purchase exercise DVD's. This is a win-win for everyone. a) DVD's are cheaper than the cost of a gym membership. b) You won't clog up the gym. c) When you get sick of the DVD's, you can trade them with other "ressies". Finally, d) this resolution only states that you will purchase the DVD's, it does not state that you actually have to work out to one.

2) Resolve to walk more. This one gets you moving and off the couch. It's easy. Take one step. Take another. Repeat. See? Told you it was easy. It will reduce carbon emissions from driving. Also, if people in the Chicago-land area are walking more, they can avoid the new craptastic fees that have come into place in 2012 including; Increased parking rates, increased rates on parking meters, increased city stickers and increased tolls.

3) Resolve to read more. Like my blog. (Shameless plug)

4) Resolve to become "A Person of Mystery". You don't actually have to do much, you just have to keep your mouth shut (ok, this one could be hard for a lot of people). One way to do this is to hide from people and cease communication. Another is to not walk around naked at the gym with your 40 year old breasts flapping about. (Clearly, I'm still scared from this morning.)

5) Resolve to avoid Barracudas. It just makes sense, those things are mean!

6) Resolve to put peanut butter on more things. If your allergic, try almond butter or Nutella... Hmm...put peanut butter on Nutella...

7) Resolve to be nice and friendly. Nobody likes an asshole. This would be a much better world if people stopped running their mouths, took a deep breath and just let things go or took a walk to blow off steam (see option #2 for walking details and benefits).

8) Resolve to catch up on your correspondence. Go to the post office, buy some stamps. Send people letters through snail-mail. Everyone loves mail that's not a bill! What? You don't know what to write? Send a thank you note (people should show more gratitude anyway). Or go to Hallmark. They have postage paid cards and post cards now. All you have to do is sign your name and address it. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! The US Post Office has had to make cut-backs due to email and the internet. You'd be helping the economy by saving (or even creating) a postal employee's job. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

9) On the list of not so fuzzy resolutions (hey, I needed one for the slightly evil readers), Resolve to help others break their resolutions. Again, slightly evil, but fun! This one keeps not only you, but other "ressies" out of the gym. Use this time to bond, plot ways to get others out of their resolutions (most people fail anyway), or get some hot chocolate.

10) Resolve not to make any more resolutions. When people ask why, tell them that you love your awesome-self just the way you are and that you don't need to change.

If you haven't made a resolution yet, I hope this helps you choose one. If you've made a resolution to run a marathon, awesome (If it's a fall one, you don't have to start training until June). If you've resolved to make a "lifestyle change", I hope this gives you an option for something immediately satisfying and allows you to wait until the gym clears out to get yourself in shape.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I'm ba-a-ack!

*tap-tap*

Is this thing on?

Wha?! Bethie blogging again? Crazy!

Ok, it's been a while. First of all, unless some random froggie heads my way, the Frog Chronicles are disappearing. That's right...I've found my prince and I'm getting married in June. Wedding plans are underway (know any good photographers?).

Last January, I was injured and had to take 2011 off from running. It sucked. I was fat and depressed. However, I've dropped my injury weight and am back to running again. Fingers crossed that my fiancé will let me run a marathon on our honeymoon. ;)

Still teaching, although sadly it's Science and not Art.

Seamus the Wondercat has been (unhappily) joined by Duke, an 85 lb. Weimarweiner.
Hmmm... Can I really sum up almost 2 years in a few sentences? I guess, if you have questions you can ask, it will give me something to blog about!