Introduction to The Frog Chronicles

Lately, it seems that I’ve been on one bad date after another. That psychic at the Cake concert totally lied about my love life! Anywho, due to the popular demand of my friends I’ve decided to blog about the bad dates. Sure, some are worse than others, but in hindsight, I can at least laugh!! So starting this summer, I’ll add a feature to my blog as the Frog Chronicles. Because as my mom says, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.” I’m starting to think that I need to tell mom that I need to find a new pond!

To start out, we go back a few months. I had a date with this guy Chad*. We headed to Mike's Ale House for some drinks and eventually headed to Mother Hubbard’s for a change of scenery. The date seemed to start off well. He’s a little younger than I, but I figured what the hell, we had a lot to talk about. As the date went on, some of his friends stopped by…they seemed drunk but not bad. Things seemed to be going well, until his cell phone rang.

Now I understand the value of the “emergency” phone call when you’re out on a date. You know, the one where your friend calls and says “something bad happened” to get you out of there if things aren’t going well? (Come on, admit it! We’ve all done it!!). This call was much worse.

First of all, it was not good that he answered the phone. Secondly, I could hear that the voice on the other end of the line was a woman…not good. Finally, (this one’s the kicker) he told her that “I love you” not once but twice!! What the hell?!!? Am I not sitting right next to you?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!

After he finished the conversation I didn’t say anything. He plowed in to an explanation that the woman was his sister (he mentioned earlier that he only had brothers) and that they were very close. I just stared at him for a moment and said “How stupid do you think I am?”

He kept babbling that she wasn’t actually his sister, rather just a very close friend and proceeded to show me her picture on his phone (which by the way, was a pic of her sleeping—weird). At that point I said to him “I wasn’t born yesterday. Clearly that’s either your girlfriend, and you’re a cheater, or that really is your sister and you’re some kind of an incestuous freak—which guy do you want to be?” He opened his mouth as if to respond, stopped and said “Um, I gotta go” and left.

Seriously? WTF!?! At least it was a good time until the phone call!


*due to the delicate nature of the situation, the names have been changed.

5.4 Horsepower

I've spent the last few days working on the house. One of the huge projects that needed to be done was staining the deck. It probably should have been done last summer, but it just didn't happen. So, with this recent bout of cool weather, I decided to tackle the project. I started on Thursday by scubbing, cleaning and preping. Then Friday, Saturday and today was spent actually staining it. It seems like there were a million ballisters (really only 150). It was taking way longer than anticipated, so I decided that before I became a danger to myself or others, that I needed a paint sprayer to help get the job done faster! The 5.4 hp paint sprayer came in handy for the areas with the lattice...and lets face it, I'm a wiz with spray paint, so the spray job looks awesome! I'm still not completely finished. I have the main parts done, but I still have to touch a few areas up, paint around the windows and doors of the hut and get all my plants a grill back on the deck. Thank God I went a bought a paint sprayer or I'd have much more than one more day of work! I think I'll take a break from it for a few days...I just can't handle anymore stain!! (Check out the half that is finished!--Lookin' sharp, if I do say so myself!)