Why I Should Not be Left to My Own Devices

I've been home sick the last two days with a wicked sinus infection. In fact, yesterday, I was awake long enough to call in sick, go to the doctor, get a prescription from Walgreen's, watch our Governor get ousted and, of course, Gray's Anatomy (Yes, there was much napping between these events).

I still feel pretty crappy today, even if I've only been awake for an hour or so. And I'd like to share with you some reasons why I should not be left to my own devices. I decided to eat something (marshmallow's and grapefruit--yesterday I had leftovers; pasta and chocolate), shower (it's been a few days) and use the Neti pot.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Neti pot, it's a plastic pot that looks kinda like Aladdin's lamp. You're supposed to mix a diluted saline solution and use it to rinse your sinuses. I often forget to actually use it until it's too late, I found that while it's really weird the first couple of times using it, it really does work.

Any who, I figured since I have a horrible sinus infection, now would be an excellent time to use it. But as I was looking for the saline (ie SALT) packets in the medicine cabinet, I came across a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. I was thinking, "Hey--this is good for wound care! If I rinse with this, it will help my sinus infection!"

So...I poured some in to the pot, with the saline packet and mixed the two. I did not add water as you're supposed to, per the mixing directions of the packet. I warmed the solution, tilted my head over the sink to use it and...

HOLY CRAP!!! It was like I snorted Pop Rocks and a carbonated beverage up my nose! I was completely unprepared for the mayhem that ensued. I was snotting and fizzing all over the bathroom, flailing about like a sprinkler. OH, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! I thought for a second that an alien was going to burst out of my face!!! I couldn't even see straight until all the bubbling subsided.

Not only was the peroxide clearly working on any infected areas in my sinuses, but it was also being gently rinsed after with salt! I have to say it did clear out the one side that I was able to use it on...but next time IF I decide to try it again, I'm thinking DILUTE the peroxide first.

Please learn from my mistake. Don't put hydrogen peroxide and salt up your nose when you have a sinus infection. It's just not a good idea. I really should not be left to my own devices...clearly, I'm just trouble.

If I were a cereal...

I was grocery shopping with Melissa the other day. She became very excited in the cereal isle and told me that she had found the type of cereal I would be (if I came in cereal form):That's right, I'd be Perky O's!! (I'm just happy she didn't say Frosted Flakes!)

That time of year...

That's right, it's that time of year when the gym is flooded with all those fakers, who made New Years Resolutions to get back in to shape, crowding my gym and taking up my machines. Now I have no problem with people at the gym. But I do have a problem with the fact that this should be a lifestyle, not something of convenience. If these people truly wanted to be in shape, I'd see them in July too!

But I digress. Along with the hordes of out of shape couch potato's comes with a whole host of people who just don't know how to behave at they gym. I swear, it's ridiculous!! In the past 2 weeks, I've witnessed more than necessary, including:

1. The naked people are back. Yep, the ones who think it's cool to lounge about the locker room naked or scarcely clothed talking on their cell phones or just generally prancing about. And trust me, they're not the people any one wants to see naked.
2. The people who don't know how to work the treadmills. Ok, these people really don't annoy me. When they fall off, it's kinda funny. (I can laugh, it's happened to me!)
3. The people who are lost. My trainer was stretching me out near the large windows over looking the pool. Some guy came over and asked him where the pool was!! He pointed behind him to the large body of water. Then the guy asked, "How do I get in?" Hector pointed to the door (just a few feet away) and also mentioned that there was a door through the locker room.
4. People who talk loudly on their cell phones while they are using the machines. If you're going that slowly on the machine, you need to get off the phone and amp it up!! Also, I don't care about the gossip in your world (really? you slept with this heinous guy last night?!), nor do I think you should give mileage reports from your treadmill while you are walking.
5. Couples who make out. I was on the stair stepper and this couple got off the machines in front of me and proceeded to make out. I saw tongue...and much more than I wanted to see. To make things worse, they wouldn't stop! I had to get off the stair machine, it was that bad.
6. Excessive cologne. I shouldn't smell you for 5 minutes after you've walked by.
7. The people who just hang out near machines. They're not actually doing anything. I think they just go to the gym to say that they've gone to the gym that day.
8. On a similar note there's the people who stare. They just stare at you while you're on a machine or working out. I don't get it. It's just creepy!
9. Those who turn the gym into a meat market. I go to the gym to work out. Not to socialize, not to pick up men. TO WORK OUT. I don't want some guy to be 'hanging out' just to hit on me when I get off the treadmill.
10. Creepy, hair guys in the whirlpool. I hate that they're sitting there gawking when I swim laps. No, I don't need you to count for me, and no, I didn't turn my head while swimming to talk to you. It's called breathing. I guess maybe, in this case, drowning would have been the better option.

Can you tell I'm annoyed? I wouldn't mind the extra crowd if I didn't have to put up with these offenses. I've been heading to the gym before work, just to avoid the people and the problems. I can't wait until these people give up and go back to their couches.

Caffinated Froggy

I was freezing this morning after my run on the Lakefront Path (unless you're living under a rock, you know there's been crazy snow in Chicago!) I was heading down Montrose and as I was shivering I saw a Starbucks and I thought "Ooo! Coffee!!" (So profound, I know.)

I got in line and was bouncing a little because I was quite chilled. This guy in line turns to me and asked if I was ok. I responded by saying "I'm cold, and just need something to warm up."

He replies with a leer and says, "How about a hot beef injection?"

I can't imagine the look on my face...what the hell?! Clearly, my brain was also frozen, because in hindsight, I can come up with at least half a dozen biting responses. All I could do was just walk out...sans coffee.

What is he thinking?! Does he really think that I'm gonna say "Ya know, that sounds amazing! Yeah, let's do it!"? Or that I would find his obscene comment funny or charming? Who even says that or feels the need to make such a comment like that in a Starbucks at 10:30 in the morning?!

UGH!