Oops!

I've gotten behind in my blogging. I haven't even kept my training log up to date. I think it's that whole switching classrooms thing.

...maybe my New Years Resolution should be to blog more!

Check Me Out!

I'm a "Resident" (too bad they spelled my name wrong)

Check me out here.

Not Again!

I have gotten yet another crack at jury duty. And yes, because it's me I've been selected to be a juror. I'm stuck on this thing until at least next Monday. And while I'm not allowed to discuss the case, I will have a lovely blog detailing any events after the fact.

But for today I'd like to highlight some suggestions in ways the state could make jury duty a little better.

1) Access to a treadmill or other work out equipment. You really expect me to sit still for 8 hours and listen? Damn near impossible. I can watch TV at the gym while I run on the treadmill, why can't I run and listen to the testimony?

2) A COMFORTABLE place to sit. Those chairs suck. How about a lounger, or at least something more ergonomic!

3) Payment above slave wages. I did the math. The $17.20 check broken down to a 7 hour day (not getting paid for lunch hour) is $2.45 an hour. Total crap. Isn't there a national minimum wage?

4) Hours comparable to my regular work day. Teachers generally don't have to stay at work until 5:00pm. Granted, I'm probably going to get some scorn from those who don't have the same hours, but I'll remind you that teachers do more work in their off hours than in other professions.

5) Knowing that for every day that you actually have to sit on a jury, you get 2 years where you won't be summoned. So, in this case, I'll be on a jury until at least next Monday. With this equation, I wouldn't have to be called again for 12 years. And if this equation was true, I wouldn't be in this situation now...I'd still have time from the last time I served. That seems much more fair to me since I can think of tons of people I know that have never been called.

6) Raffle off prizes. I'm sure business could donate, sports tickets, spa treatments, gift certificates, ect. If I knew there was a chance to win me some Bears tickets...I think I'd be serving a little more cheerfully.

I'm sure over the course of the next week, I'll be coming up with more helpful suggestions, until then I will be sitting in the jury box.

Because the Milkshake Wasn't Bad Enough!

I went to the gym for a killer work out. I ran, biked, worked out with Hector and swam. I was walking back to my locker feeling pretty good about myself, and that's when the problems started.

I turned the corner and saw my stuff strewn about. In the less than 20 minutes I was at the pool someone had broken in to my locker (with a lock on it) and stolen my stuff!! My Blackberry, wallet, planner, keys and, to add insult to injury, MY CLOTHES!!! They stole my work clothes and my sweaty gym clothes!! Including my shoes (with about 300 miles on them) and underwear!! All that was left was my bag and a few smaller items. Even the lock was gone!!

If that wasn't bad enough, I gathered what's left of my things and had to walk out to the front desk in a bikini that's a size too big and about 5 years old and a towel to go and ask for help. On my list of mortifying things, "public nakedness" is up there. I was at the front desk, obviously upset, and they asked what was taken and then offered to help me look for my stuff. One of the girls asked "Why don't you get dressed and we'll help you look for your stuff." I was very upset at this point and may have yelled "I can't because THEY STOLE MY CLOTHES!!" Really, because I make it a point to hang out at the gym front desk at 6:45 pm (a peak time) practically naked.

Several of the girls and one of the managers went to the locker room and searched it for me, not finding any thing. One of the girls asked what size clothes I wore and picked out an outfit for me at the pro-shop. I felt so pitiful saying "I'm sorry, I can't pay for these." She told me not to worry about it. Thank God, because I was so uncomfortable!! I put on the clothes (and bless her heart) it was a perfect fit. Unfortunately, (and I hate to sound ungrateful) the girl picked out a white t-shirt. The problem, was the wet swim top underneath (Hello! Wet t-shirt contest!) How I didn't end up with a date out of this, I'll never know. I was upset, and everyone at the gym was looking at me (or so it felt). It really was the perfect storm of embarrassment.

After I was dressed, they let me sit at the front desk and call to cancel my credit and debit cards until the police came. I also called Jack to come and get me and to tow my car home. The police filed a report for me, they asked me where my shoes were and I was stifling back tears when I said "They were stolen." The officer was really nice and not only gave me his number in case anything happened but also sent a police car to sit outside my house to make sure I was safe and no one was trying to get in (extra nice!). Jack took me to Verizon to activate an old phone and called a locksmith for me and stayed with me until my locks were changed.

It's a huge nightmare as I work on getting EVERYTHING replaced. What's the topping to this fan-frickin'-tastic day? Oh, I had a summons for jury duty sitting in my mail box. Yeah, it was an AWESOME day.

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard...

I was in Greek Town, getting Melissa some dinner from Mr. Greek. She had been sick (and still is) and I offered to pick her up some dinner. I wasn't really hungry, so I just ordered a milkshake and some fruit for myself. They put the two drinks (my milkshake and Melissa's Diet Pepsi) in a drink carrier.

As I was walking to the car, this homeless guy (who had asked me for change as I walked into Mr. Greek), ran up and snatched my milkshake from the carrier and took off!

I stood there, on Jackson Ave. looking bewildered thinking "Seriously?! Was I just mugged for a milkshake?! Really? Am being punked?"

He clearly wasn't even going for my purse. It was on the other side of me, securely under my arm. This guy was going for the food. I couldn't believe it! And it's not like I was going to chase him down. I mean, he's homeless. He probably needed it more than I did. Besides, could you imagine explaining that one to the police:

"Ma'am, Why were you beating this man?"
"Because he stole my milkshake."
"You're beating a homeless guy over a milkshake?"

See my point? And I don't think "Well, it was chocolate!" would be considered a valid defense.

It's too crazy! If he had asked for it, I would have just given it to him. Fortunately, I wasn't hurt (aside for spilling a little Diet Pepsi on my arm), and my purse wasn't taken. So, once I got over the fact that I was with out a milkshake (just fruit isn't the same), I thought the whole thing was pretty funny.

Sticky Situation

Today, I have my 8th graders, who are making African Masks. It's a fun paper mache project. I usually make the paper mache at home because it's cheaper to use flour and water and make it on the stove than to buy the paste. I had a big plastic container filled with warm paper mache sitting on the passenger seat as I drove to work.

When I got to work, I reached for the paper mache and got a handful of warm stickiness. The lid had popped off of the container and gotten all over my leather seats. I was thinking it wasn't that bad...I could just wipe it up. I went in the school to get some paper towels so that I could clean it.

As I was wiping up the spill, I picked up the container...what originally looked like a few ounces turned out to be almost half the container. My binder for my boards, that the paper mache was sitting upon is completely stuck together. Awesome. I wonder if I can send it in and get credit for it as an art project?

Then I slid the seat forward. Thank God for floor mats because there was a layer of of paper mache under the seats several inches thick. I dumped it off in the parking lot, leaving what looked like a pile of puke. After I scrubbed the remaining puddles, I carried in the floor mat (also looking like a vomitious mess). Glen, our engineer, used the water shower for cleaning and sprayed it down for me.

I think I got most of the mess...at least I hope I did. I really don't want to head out to the car later and have it smell like rancid paper mache. I currently am working on drying my binder for the boards, and cleaning the paper mache from my shoes, clothes and hair. Ugh! What a fantastic way to start the day. :(

Does anyone know of a place that does a good job of cleaning car upholstery?

Why I Should Not be Left to My Own Devices

I've been home sick the last two days with a wicked sinus infection. In fact, yesterday, I was awake long enough to call in sick, go to the doctor, get a prescription from Walgreen's, watch our Governor get ousted and, of course, Gray's Anatomy (Yes, there was much napping between these events).

I still feel pretty crappy today, even if I've only been awake for an hour or so. And I'd like to share with you some reasons why I should not be left to my own devices. I decided to eat something (marshmallow's and grapefruit--yesterday I had leftovers; pasta and chocolate), shower (it's been a few days) and use the Neti pot.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Neti pot, it's a plastic pot that looks kinda like Aladdin's lamp. You're supposed to mix a diluted saline solution and use it to rinse your sinuses. I often forget to actually use it until it's too late, I found that while it's really weird the first couple of times using it, it really does work.

Any who, I figured since I have a horrible sinus infection, now would be an excellent time to use it. But as I was looking for the saline (ie SALT) packets in the medicine cabinet, I came across a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. I was thinking, "Hey--this is good for wound care! If I rinse with this, it will help my sinus infection!"

So...I poured some in to the pot, with the saline packet and mixed the two. I did not add water as you're supposed to, per the mixing directions of the packet. I warmed the solution, tilted my head over the sink to use it and...

HOLY CRAP!!! It was like I snorted Pop Rocks and a carbonated beverage up my nose! I was completely unprepared for the mayhem that ensued. I was snotting and fizzing all over the bathroom, flailing about like a sprinkler. OH, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! I thought for a second that an alien was going to burst out of my face!!! I couldn't even see straight until all the bubbling subsided.

Not only was the peroxide clearly working on any infected areas in my sinuses, but it was also being gently rinsed after with salt! I have to say it did clear out the one side that I was able to use it on...but next time IF I decide to try it again, I'm thinking DILUTE the peroxide first.

Please learn from my mistake. Don't put hydrogen peroxide and salt up your nose when you have a sinus infection. It's just not a good idea. I really should not be left to my own devices...clearly, I'm just trouble.

Escape!

This week, I'm down in Florida visiting my parents for Christmas (Please stop cursing me. I do, in fact, know how cold it is in Chicago right now!) We went out to dinner tonight and took one of the dogs with us. For those of you who don't know, my mother is a Canine Companions for Independence (CCI) Puppy Raiser and Mentor. She trains puppies for persons who are wheelchair bound.

On this particular evening we took Yana with us. She was supposed to be under the table while we were eating. As I was dining on my salad, I looked down and realized, Yana was gone!!

CRAP!! THERE'S A CCI PUPPY LOOSE IN OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE!!

I looked behind the booth-- no dog. I panicked and had to find her, so I began crawling through the restaurant looking for the dog, whispering her name. I didn't want to alert the other customers (I mean, maybe they wouldn't notice a random woman crawling on the floor.) I found her under the bench of a booth two tables away scrounging for crumbs.

This unfortunately is where the people at the booth noticed me crawling on the floor. I quickly apologized (still on all fours) and told them that I had lost my dog. The woman asked if it was a toy dog. I replied, "No, it's a service dog." (Isn't that obvious?!!? Why else would I be crawling about in a restaurant?)

I called for Yana and she scooted out from under the woman's legs. The woman looked so bewildered to have a dog come from below her seat. I quickly apologized and crawled back to my booth with the dog in tow to find both of my parents laughing hysterically at the whole scene.

Well, at least someone found the puppy!

HD--Huh?

I finally got the coupon in the mail for my digital converter box and went out and purchased the box (thanks, Ben for the feedback!). I'm not very electronical about setting things up. I just don't get it. I tried to set it up today. And by "set it up", I mean I kept plugging and unplugging things until I could make it work. So far, not so smooth:

1. Why does it keep skipping and getting all pixelated? That's really annoying. If I wanted my TV watching experience to resemble a really poorly dubbed Japanese movie, I'd rent Godzilla.

2. How do I make it work through the TV instead of as a component like the DVD player? My TV does cool things like Picture in a Picture. What's the big deal about this? I can watch 2 football games at once! Or, in the fall, the Cubs and Bears at the same time!! I'd really like this one fixed!

3. Where did CBS go? How do I get CBS so I can watch football on Sunday?

4. There are some people who should not be viewed in high definition...I was not prepared for Cloris Leachman sans makeup.

I'm not sure how I feel about this whole HD business. I wonder how long it will take me before I suck it up and read the directions.

Not Cool!

I headed to the fridge to make some toast and I pulled a loaf of bread out of the freezer. I put it in the toaster. I started to close the bag and I realized that it was soft...

Yeah, I pulled it out of the freezer.

My fridge is dying. Not only that, my beer was getting warm.

So, I did what I had to do. I ran to the basement and got the mini fridge from college (a.k.a. The Bears Game Beer Fridge) and plugged it in. Then I started drinking the beer. I mean, I can't let it get warm (aside from in my tummy!).

Don't worry, I pitched the rest of the perishables. I'm hoping because it's about 55 to 60 in the fridge right now, most of my produce is going to be ok. Clearly, the dairy is gone (don't even ask about the mayo or ranch dressing). Oh, and don't worry about the Bailey's, Jameson and beer, I made some Irish Carbombs--and I'm not so sad about the dying fridge anymore! :)

Who could ask for more...

I had a really crappy day at school. But I have to admit there were some positives:

• a hug when I needed it the most
• running at the gym to blow off some steam
• a new pair of fuzzy socks
• a chat with a good friend
• and sitting around in my underwear drinking Moose Drool and watching the Cubbie's win it in the 10th (thanks to Lee and Ramirez)

And really, what more could a girl want?

R2R

After all that carbo-loading, we were up bright and early for the 20 miler! For those of you not familiar with the route, it starts at Foster, heads up to Hollywood and then down to the South Shore Cultural Center at 71st Street. It began with some warnings (yellow/moderate), but my runners were ready to go (or at least they pretended they were)!

I of course felt the need to practice actual marathon conditions. And as you all know, this means finding beer along the course! You can see that some tailgaters gave me one...
That's right, 11.5, with Soldier Field in the back ground, and wearing a pacer's shirt...I stopped with some tailgaters to have a beer. I'm sure someone in the CARA office is very proud.

Sometime after 10:30 the flags were changed to red/high risk level. I slowed my pace down about a minute per mile for the last 5 miles, but I still finished in about 4:07. I'm so proud of all the runners in my group! They all did so well--especially in this heat!

We did have one runner go down...Melissa finished and headed straight to the medical tent. She was suffering from heat exhaustion and dehydration. We got her to the ER and 3 liters of fluid later she started to feel better. While I was pretty much useless in the medical capacity (Let's face it, I was trying not to puke every time she was stuck for an IV), I did try to entertain her by singing her songs and trying to find all the possible impressions I could do with the mylar blanket. (You'd be surprised how many you can do with that thing...Elvis, Chipotle Burrito, Batman and my personal favorite Jiffy Pop!)

Aside from the massive amounts of time in the ER and missing the Bears game it wasn't too bad of a day, it certainly was a memorable!

House Plants

After a week of playing in the mountains, I had done my laundry and was putting it away when something caught my eye--Look carefully at the picture:
Apparently, when I was gone, this plant had grown through the window and in to my bedroom! (Top left corner of the window) Clearly I'm more of a green thumb when I'm out of the state. Too bad it wasn't a magical bean stalk! How does that even happen?!

Poor Little Piggy

I'm dog and house sitting this week for Laura this week--Here's Pepper--So cute!!
Anywho, there are some weights in the foreground (I don't know if you can see them, but I took the pic well before the event happened). Yeah, I was walking through the living room in the dark, tripped over the weights and broke my baby toe.

I actually heard it snap (ICK!!) and you can tilt it 90 degrees sideways. Fortunately for me, when I was rolling on the floor cursing Pepper was licking my face trying to make me feel better. I think that Laura's neighbors now think that I have tourettes (MOTHER DICK THAT HURT!!!)

Time to go through the medicine cabinets for some pain killers...stupid weights!!

Ova Flambe

Did you know it's possible to burn hard boiled eggs?
Did you know that those very same eggs can catch on fire and explode?

Yeah, I didn't either.

But there's nothing like my kitchen being covered in FLAMING EGG BITS! Teflon's not supposed to turn grey and flake off like that, right? (I think I need a new pot.)

Here's Bethie's PSA of the day: Check your smoke alarms...because the battery in mine is clearly dead.

The Work-out of my LIFE!

Today, I think I had the work out of my life. I can't remember when I sweat so much in such a short period of time. No, I didn't try some weird running loop with hills... nor did Hector come up with some devilish thing to torment me at the gym...

I tried on wetsuits today.

Now, one would think that this would be like trying on some ordinary article of clothing. Not so much. I was mentally prepared for having to wear a skintight article of clothing in public, but I was not prepared for what it took to get in one.

It was like trying to wrestle a man eating python and loosing. Yes, these things are tight, but they're not terribly pliable. I was waddling around the dressing room penguin style trying to pull the damn thing up. Sweating profusely, I slipped and crashed in to the wall (nothing was broken but my pride at this point).

After the crash, the guy at Fleet Feet that was helping me offered me some Suit Juice--EW! That sounds nasty! I couldn't decide if it was for me to drink or something that I had to mix with my copious amounts of sweat to put on the wetsuit. It's actually in a spray bottle and you spray it on yourself. It supposedly helps you get in and out of the wetsuit easier (riiiight!).

Did you know that you could get neoprene burn on your knuckles? Me neither. But they're nice and raw at this point (and suit juice stings!). I tried on men's suits and women's suits.... Unfortunately, they don't make a women's tall.

Here's another tip...while a ponytail is a good idea to keep your hair out of the way during this process, don't zip your hair in to the back of the wet suit. It will get caught in the zipper. Let me tell you, that was super fun! There's nothing like walking out of the dressing room with your head healed high (only because if I dropped it down, I'd rip my hair out) and asking for someone to unzip me because my hair was caught. It was awesome! (and by awesome I mean mortifying!)

Something else I didn't know...to ensure a proper fit, you have to lay down and pretend you're swimming. Yep... That was me, lying on the floor in the Fleet Feet (at Piper's Alley), pretending to swim, in a wetsuit, with out water. Can you say "Beached Whale"? (Ok, maybe I'm being to hard on myself... Let's go with beached seal.) Thank God I wasn't wearing my swim cap and goggles, then I definitely would have looked extra special.

Well, after squeezing myself into 5 different suits, the Fleet Feet guy stated that the first suit was the best fit, and that he wanted me to try it on again. Again?!?! ARRRGH!

Can someone remind me why I wanted to do a triathlon again?

Crashing and Waxing

I have been know to get things waxed. In fact, I do regularly get a bikini wax. It's just part of my maintenance routine. Yesterday, I had such an appointment with my esthetician. For those of you who are not familiar with the process, I have to point out that you are naked from the waist down. Sure, they give you a towel to drape yourself, but you're pretty much on a massage table half naked.

Anywho, I was laying there, waiting for my esthetician, she knocks on the door and I tell her that I am ready. As she slides open the pocket door, there is a huge crash!! (And no, this time it wasn't MY fault!!). The door completely fell off it's hinges!!

This poor woman is freaking out!! She's apologizing, and I'm worried as to if she is ok. I felt awful, all I could do was sit there...remember, I'm naked from the waist down! It's not like I can jump up to help her!! Once I realize that she is ok, I find the situation completely hilarious! I mean, this WOULD happen to me! I'm totally laughing by now.

So what do we do now? She offers to get a guy to fix it... yeah--still naked! (and laughing my ass off!) She realizes that getting a man at this point isn't the best idea. I can't stand up to get dressed...there's no door, I'm naked and my pants are clear across the room.

So she leaves me to find another room. Once she does find somewhere else to do this, I asked her for a towel. I wrap this much larger towel around me, grab my pants and dash down the hall (laughing the whole way). The poor woman who was scheduled to give me a wax was still apologizing. I kept trying to tell her it really was ok, and that I thought it was funny!

Fortunately, for me, the rest of the wax was uneventful!

Oops

Looks like I need a new curling iron...

I pushed the ON button, and it pushed through the base!

Gettin' My Shamrock On

So...according to a bartender at a bar that I frequent; for St. Patrick's Day I made quite a performance. I was apparently dancing on the bar singing a parody of a song that I made up...

Clearly I thought that "My shamrocks bring all the boys to the yard...(Damn right! They're better than yours!)" was going to be a hit.

Are there any pictures out there? I hate to admit it, but that sounds like something I would do...

Machines Love Me

Today it seems that machines love me. I went to Judy's gym this afternoon (I'm house sitting) and got on one of the funky ellipticals that my gym doesn't have. I started my run and it seems that my 5 miles went much quicker than normal. In fact, I finished in 43:55--that's crazy fast for me!! Sure, I was trying to push myself, but I've never had an 8:47 split in my life!!

Then before I showered, I stepped on Judy's scale and I couldn't believe the numbers: 9 pounds lighter than Saturday!! S0 AWESOME!!!

Yeah, yeah. I know the machines are probably miss-calibrated. But if that's the case, maybe I should buy a lottery ticket or something. It's clear that machines are working in my favor today!