Why Valentine’s Day is CRAP or Happy Crap Day

Ok, first of all I would like to state that I have always thought Valentine’s Day is a bogus holiday—relationship or no relationship. I’m not being any more bitter and jaded than usual; it’s just an excellent excuse to rant.

So…why is Valentine’s Day crap? I’m so glad you asked!!

1. First of all, the obvious—IT’S A MADE UP HOLIDAY!!! If you google it, you get a bunch of different reasons it’s a holiday…but let’s face it—the association for the date is for the Catholic Church to cover up a pagan holiday. (If that doesn’t say romance, I don’t know what does!)
2. Assume for a second it is holiday worth celebrating. What sort of jacked-up holiday revolves around chocolates and junk food (ie fattening stuff), and then expects you to wear skimpy lingerie? Does anyone else see a problem here?
3. It seems for the past week people have been pre-occupied with my singleness. My students have been asking me if I had plans, when I say no, they act sad for me! One of my students actually asked“Ms. B, aren’t you sad that you have nobody on Valentine’s Day? I’d be sad if I were you.” Are you kidding me? There’s nothing worse than pity from a seventh grader.
4. If you shorten Valentine’s Day to it initials, you get an STD…oh, let’s celebrate that.
5. Gifts on Valentine’s Day seem to be given out of obligation rather than love. If someone wants to give me flowers just because they believe I’m awesome, I have absolutely no problem with that. But if I’m getting flowers because you think you’re supposed to, or that if you don’t I’m going to kick your ass, then we have a problem.
6. It’s unimaginative. Everywhere you look, everything is coated with mixtures of red and pink. I hate pink! The way to this girl’s heart is football, pizza and beer…not a plethora of hearts, roses and baloney sentiment.

I hate to burst anyone’s mushy little bubble, but I just have to call ‘em like I see em---Valentine’s Day…a big crock o’ shit.

Enjoy your candy hearts.