Barb was over the other night, passing through before she flew back home to Salt Lake City. We had a full evening of dinner and trivia and I was getting ready for bed. I had slid my robe on and felt something on by breast...almost as if something was lightly sliding it's way around from the top to the bottom. I opened my robe and a shrieked!!! (I'm certain I screamed like a girl--but I am one...)
The biggest fucking spider I've ever seen, outside of a zoo, was hanging from my breast!!!!
Somehow the spider ended up on the floor...I threw the spidery robe on the ground grabbed my Bears robe to cover up and jumped on my bed screaming. Thank God Barb deals with trauma!!! She came in to the room and squished the damn thing. It was so gross. It seriously was the size of a half dollar. ICK!!! I was so skived out, I immediately took a shower.
Barb---you truly are my hero.
I have no idea what I'm going to do now that she's a time zone away (It makes me itchy just typing this post!). I need to start taking applicants for the position of "Spider Squisher".
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7 comments:
You sure have some funny stories! I know how much you hate SPIDERS
Where was the "bug fighter" Seamus?
Mom
Bethie... I love ya, but I'll pass on the spider squasher position... ewww! I would have freaked out just like you did...
I am happy to step down as your hero if it involves this type of work. I am proud to pass the torch to Barb. I would have just jumped on the bed and screamed along with you...hardly hero behavior!
Everyone sing along (to the tune of the Spiderman theme):
Spider Beth! Spider Beth!
Down your robe, to your breast...
Can you scream from your bed...
Take a look over head...
Hey there...
There goes a Spider Beth!
Hey this is the 2nd shout out I've gotten as your hero! Woo-hoo!! So who's gonna save ME from Utah spiders?....
Your blog is very nice:)
Mom--The spider might have given Seamus a run for his money...he just wasn't in the room at that time. Usually he's really good about catching all sorts of polylegged creatures.
Victoria-Thanks for nothing! :)
Meghan-LOL, you're still my hero, but for extraordinary behavior in other areas besides spider squishing.
Joe-You have too much time on your hands.
Barb-Call Roger--isn't that part of training in the Army?
Mustafa-Thanks!
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