Froggy Lines

I'm sick to death of vulgar pick up lines. (Although, I think Lynn's takes the cake...let's see if she'll post it!) So, I've compiled a list of the most recent. And of course, the bitter, jaded, sarcastic internal monologue is in parentheses next to it for your reading pleasure. Go ahead, laugh at my misfortune ('cuz true stuff is funny).

Things you should not say to a woman you want to date:

• So, just how many beers is it going to take?" (There isn't enough beer in Germany, buddy.)
• "I want to come on your tits." (Um, no thank you--yeah, I wasn't even prepared for that one.)
• "Who's saying I want a relationship?" (Oh, I'm sorry, I miss understood! You're a man-whore!)
• "Okey dokie, cupcake." (Do I look frosted?!?!)
• "If I were you, I'd do me." (Great, then go fuck yourself.)
• "I just wanna sleep with you." (What? No please?)
• "I'm just not in a relationship-y kind of place." (Then why the hell did you ask me out--oh yeah, you're a man-whore too!)
• "OOO you've got a fat ass!!" (Ooo, you've got a small dick!)
• "I think you need to get laid, and I think I'm just the man to take care of that." (And I think that if you were the last man alive, I'd rob a sperm bank and find a turkey baster thingy.)

So now you can see why "I QUIT!". Seriously. I don't wanna play any more.