Spider Bitten

I was logging on to check my e-mail when I noticed this article on MSN. It’s about the Chilean equivalent of the black widow spider. Apparently, while the bite can be fatal to children and the elderly, the spider’s venom also causes erections that can last for several days. Authorities are looking in to the obvious uses for this as a competition to Viagra and Cialias.

This is so bizarre! Granted I’m freaked out by anything with more than four legs, I can’t imagine relying on an arachnid to ensure sexual function. I get the whole “better living through chemistry” thing, and I realize that most medicines are derived from natural compounds, but spider venom?--sounds too voodoo to me.

Furthermore, thinking about the black market potential sounds awful! Currently, people head to Canada for cheaper prescription drugs, how much more weird is it going to be when I hear Grandpa say that he’s hopping on a bus to Chile! And what about dealers…walking around with jars with wholes punched in them with the actually spider inside—Ick! Or even worse, having a bogus spider in the jar that would either kill you or do nothing (I’m not a man, so I can’t weigh in as to which is worse.).

On the other hand, the marketing potential is amazing! If Ditka is the spokes man for Cialias, this drug would have to use your friendly neighborhood Spider Man. Imagine the connotations behind getting webbed! And the obvious choice for a nemesis in this case would be Sandman, due to the sands of time image with things just “slipping away”(I know Barb’s picturing the “Melty Man” from Coupling).

I’m not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I guess if I needed the drug and it worked and didn’t know where it came from… Maybe this could convince male lawmakers to help save the rainforests…it’s certainly an interesting angle (Save the Rainforests and Save your Erection!). I guess it’s proof that you never know where new drugs could be discovered!