Wednesday, April 28, 2010

An Open Letter to All Froggies:

Hello, Froggies. Let’s chat about trying to kiss a chickie. There are several things to conceder before you try to get your mack on.

First and most important, ask yourself “Does this woman want me to kiss her?” Most women will give you signs including but not limited to flirting, hair tossing, application of lip gloss or just telling you. Don’t do the ‘lean in’ on less you are sure.

Second; location, location, location. Whether we admit it or not, the majority of women are romantic at heart. If you haven’t previously kissed this woman, wouldn’t you want the first kiss to be memorable? Surveys have shown a bad first kiss can be a deal breaker. Therefore, it would not be a good idea to make an attempt in a parking lot, near a dumpster (or trash of any kind—do I look like Oscar the Grouch?) or on a personal note, while I’m watching sports. (You all know, my own mother doesn’t even call me when there’s a Bears game on!)

I would also like to say that persistence does not, in fact, pay off. If a woman isn’t interested, then she’s just not interested. If you try the ‘lean in’ and she doesn’t reciprocate, then do not try a third time. It just makes you seem even creepier. On the same note, if you try, get the head turn and plant one on her cheek, the same applies.

Finally, check yourself. Do you have anything stuck in your Froggie teeth? Do you smell like man or frog? Is your fly down? Are you a douchebag/Froggie? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, just don’t do it…and please, stay away from me!

Thanks! <3 Bethie

6 comments:

An Unpeaceful Life said...

It's okay to just say "Hey, yo, you want me to mack on you?", right?

EricaLynn83 said...

You would think they would just "get it". I like this :)

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