DONE!!

On Monday, I took my National Board Exam!! (It sucked--that's all I have to say about that.) And I'm done!! I won't know the results until November, but until then, it's time to play!
WOO!

DONE!

Finally...the bane of my existence for the last several months...Completed, packed and mailed. I can't remember the last time I was so happy to ship something!! That little blue box contains my National Boards Portfolio; it's part of the process to become a National Board Certified teacher. It's taken up waaaaay too much time and the reason I've had almost no life (and the reason I haven't been bogging much!).

Here's Laura at FedEx, shipping her portfolio... And I am just as happy to see mine go, too! Next up, the comprehensive exam in May....followed by waiting until November to hear the results...no worries, dear readers, I'm sure you'll hear the news when I do! :)

Tales, Part VII (Oh, the things I’d be thinkin’…)

Today one of my students left their backpack in my classroom. I unzipped it to see whose it was so I could return it. I opened the front pocket and found a little baggy with something white in it. The outside of the bag was sticky. I honestly thought it was a piece of cooked chicken breast. But then I realized that my kids are on the free lunch program. What was this white thing in a baggy?? Upon further inspection I realized what it was…

a brain!! EW!! What child keeps a brain in a baggy, in their book bag?!?! I was so utterly grossed out!!

I put it back in the book bag and walked the back pack up to the student’s classroom. I made him throw it away. Apparently he had gotten it from one of the Science teachers. It was a sheep’s brain. The science club had dissected them a month ago!!

UGH!! I touched brain juice—YUCK!!

Pluming Malfuctions

Today was interesting. The kids were there normal post-testing self. This isn’t a story about the kids, rather about an equipment malfunction.



During my 6th grade class I was at the sink washing something out when it happened. My sink exploded. I have a goose necked sink. You know, the kind that has a spout that looks like an upside down J. I was using the sink when I noticed the spout leaking at the base. Just as I touched it, the spout fell off and water sprayed everywhere!
It was a good thing I did it and shut it off rather than a kid breaking it and possibly running away from the water, making a worse mess. It was crazy!! It was as if my sink exploded!!

The kids thought it was funny that when I called the office I asked for either a wrench or Glen. (Glen is the engineer). My sink is now in good working order, but there was a fair amount of water left over from the deluge.

Maybe I should have the kids start building an ark.

Random Acts of Kindness Got Me Through The Day

I’m not sure if I should have gotten out of bed this morning…

It was a snowy, bizzardy day in Chicago. I decided that if I could make it out of my driveway, I’d go to work. Low and behold I made it.

I was ten minutes late for Cheerleading practice with, and bless their hearts, the girls said, “Miss B, we seen on the news how bad traffic is. We so glad you made it.” (note, the quotes, I know it's gramatically incorrect--Robb) Granted, not everyone on the squad made it this morning, but practice went well. I was thinking maybe this day won’t be so icky after all…

My first period class changed that.

I was getting paint out for the 5th graders. They’re studying Piet Mondrian and need the primary colors (red, blue and yellow). I was reaching for the gallon on top of my shelves when a couple of boys bumped me from behind. The jug slipped….and crack!! A gallon of yellow paint was splattered all over the back of my leg and on the floor.

Again, a few of my darlings snapped into action. One of them grabbed the jug and stood it up so that more paint wouldn’t run out. Another ran to get paper towels and several others offered to go to the engineer’s office for cleaning supplies. Two of the girls even tried to help get the paint off my back side. Granted I had a couple of goobers accidentally stepping in the paint and I made them take their shoes off to wash the soles…but with the massive mess, this class could have been a LOT worse. Some of the students acutally used paint off the floor for their projects...it was cute. And, yes, I had to go through the day with yellow paint splattered all down the back of my right leg.

Other than one of the 4th grades, the rest of the classes were pretty well behaved and attentive—even the 8th grade!! Maybe it was the weather.

Then on my way home, my very light Mustang was not doing well in the copious amounts of snow. A random adult helped push my car out of one drift in the parking lot. So NICE!! I thought I was home free until—

My car actually slid off the street. I was practically sideways in the street. I wasn’t going anywhere. I called Jack, who drives a tow truck to come and get me. While I was waiting I saw a group of my older students coming at my car with shovels…7 or 8 boys had run home to get shovels came back to dig me out and push me out to the main road!!! Totally renewed my faith in my kids!! I’m so grateful that I didn’t have to spend the night in my school. It totally gave me the warm fuzzy feeling! :) I’m definitely getting those kids a pizza or cupcakes or something!!

After taking nearly an hour to get home, I made it with out incident to my side street. I was less than 50 feet away when I got stuck again. Thankfully, Keri and Mr. R pushed me into my driveway. AMAZING!! I promised that by the time Mr. R walked back with his full gas can, I’d have a path shoveled for him…and I did! :)

I can’t believe the kindness of everyone I’ve encountered today. Sure, a bunch of crap happened, but I was blessed to encounter so much goodness through out the day. Thank you to all of you who offered a kind word, or got me out of the snow!! You rock!!

Ick

I’m going to start this post by saying, I officially do not like orange juice. I also should warn the masses…the story you are about to read is not for the weak of stomach.

Why you may ask? What’s that, faithful readers? Shouldn’t this post be one of joy due to my impending Holiday Break that comes with being a teacher? Well, let’s just say, my last day at work blew (literally).

I started the day our usual Friday staff breakfast (Mr. Greenburg’s “crack cake” –as I call it—was awesome!). I delivered my Secret Santa gift (I was foiled by my unique handwriting!!). Sarah, our former band teacher was in town for a conference and came by to visit. The children actually weren’t that crazy so far…I had even gotten some homemade cards from a few of my students. It seemed that this day wasn’t going to be so crazy…until fourth period with the 4th graders.

I felt that something wasn’t right. Maybe I was hungry. I hadn’t had much for breakfast besides Greenburg’s crack cake and some fruit with the formentioned orange juice nothing out of the ordinary. I was reprimanding a student, who (and this is important later in the story) has a speech impediment of stuttering when suddenly, I NEEDED my garbage can. Yeah, I yakked. This poor kid froze. He just stood there starring at me with HUGE eyes. Eventually he got out the sentence “M-m-m-m-m-ms. B? Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-ould I g-g-g-g-g-get the of-f-f-f-f-f-fice?” In between heaves, I told him to get Ms. Rose in the Library. Ten minutes later he came running back into my room, grabbed another student and ran back out of my room. I later found out that he was so excited and due to his speech, he couldn’t quite get the information out. Ms. Rose did eventually come to my class and helped by taking my fourth graders for the remainder of the period.

I bagged up the garbage can and took it to the dumpster, but ended up throwing up in the downstairs bathroom near the cafeteria. The lunch ladies began asking when my baby was due thinking that my sickness was due to morning sickness rather than the flu. No amount of convincing could make them believe that it REALLY IS THE FLU!! (Sorry, ladies, no preggos here!)

I made it back up to my classroom to see my sixth graders waiting for me. The sixth grade teacher took one look at me and asked what was wrong. She did offer to give up her prep, but I said that I would try to take her kids. I guess I must have looked pretty bad because they didn’t even want to walk into my room! I have to admit, I wanted them for slightly selfish reasons; they’re a really good bunch of kids, and I needed a few things put away before the break and I knew I could count on them to help me out. It was the best decision I could have made. Students who weren’t helping me were quiet and coloring, the rest of the students straightened up my classroom, cleaned my tables, and prepped the clay for the break. (Kudos to room 304!!).

I was honestly hoping that I would make it to the end of the day. But as the period was stretching on, I new it was not possible. I got together some coloring pages for the 7th and 8th graders (my last two periods of the day) and sent them to the office with a note saying that I needed to go home, and to give these to whom ever was covering my class.

As the sixth graders were lining up, I was preparing to leave and then it hit me. I wasn’t going to leave my school without paying homage to the porcelain gods one more time. Just as I grabbed my garbage can and hit the floor, I heard my assistant principal asking me why I wanted to leave early? (HELLO?!?! I Think everyone in the school knew Ms. B was barfing by now!!!) Was it an emergency? (Ya, think?) and that I couldn’t leave because there weren’t any subs available (WTF?!?!?!). Unfortunately, I was a little to occupied to answer.

I’m sure that my sixth graders were picked up by their teacher. I was in my classroom, still vomiting, when I heard the other art teacher run in my room. Laura, bless her heart, had a front row show. You know you have a good friend, when they make sure you’re alive during the flu (LP—YOU ROCK!!). Even better, she single handedly diverted my in coming 8th grade class. All I heard was her telling Mr. S. that his class was NOT having art today. I did hear one student get by her, for a glimpse of the show. That student informed her class that “Ms. B was on the floor puking all over the place” (Sweet, isn’t she?).

A few minutes later, the swells had calmed, and I gathered my belongings, as the garbage, I heard over the speaker, “Um, Ms. B?” “Yeah?”, I feebly answered. “Ms. B, I had no idea you were that sick, your classes have been canceled for the day, you may go home.”

HALELULLEA!! It’s a Christmas Miracle!!

I’m not sure who changed the office’s mind, but thank GOD!! Made a second trip to the dumpster and headed in to drop my keys. My Ass’t Principal saw me and said that from my note, she didn’t realize that I was that ill. She said that she was sorry, and asked if I was ok to drive home. I really wasn’t terrible interested in the explanation, I just wanted to go home!!

I did make it home without defiling the interior of my car and took a nice nap on my bathroom floor. Nothing like starting the holiday break with a bang.

Holy Cow, that was fun!

Yesterday was the last day of the IAEA conference. I had fun making my Haitian Spirit bottle. Something interesting that I learned about them is that these bottles were used as a part of the Vodou religious altars and ceremonies. The spirit part does not refer to keeping a soul in the bottle, rather alcoholic spirits. The liquor (rum, whiskey or gin) is kept in the bottle until they are needed in the ceremony. Then a priest or priestess sips from the bottle and sprays the liquor on the alter and persons requesting the ceremony. The spirits bless whom or what ever was sprayed.

Here’s my bottle:




And yes, the protective talisman on top of the bottle is in fact Liono from Thundercats! When I found him in the collage materials, I knew he was my “protective entity”!





Here are some others that were made at the workshop at the Intuit Center.





There were even free 15 minute massages at the last event. The last event was a vendor give away, and you don’t know what you’re going to get. Unfortunately, I won 13 lbs. of clay. Not that I’m not grateful or anything (my 6th graders are going to make something fun with it!), but lugging home a huge bag of clay on the el sucked!






After the IAEA conference, I went with Julia to a Halloween Party.

Here’s Julia and I all dressed up. Julia is “Holy Cow” (you can’t see her wings) and I’m the pirate (Arrgh! I forgot me eye patch!).






I found that people knew what I was faster when I carried around this prop from the bar…”but WHY is all the rum gone!”





It was fun to meet new people, and talk with Tina and Pete. I think I needed to avoid the Ghostbuster.

I also spent the evening “hitting on” Mike—he’s such a good listener!

Thanks Julia for bringing me along! Good Times!